


Pleased As Punch

by kathkin



Series: OTPprompts [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, space dorks in space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-10-18
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:18:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5024494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>When you’ve saved quite as many planets as I have, I do think you’re entitled to a free kitten every now and again.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pleased As Punch

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/129229141886/imagine-person-a-person-b-and-person-c-all-go-to) OTP Prompt.
> 
> ETA: Now with adorable artwork by [keatulie](http://keatulie.tumblr.com/post/131515593840/ohhh-i-have-so-many-inktobers-to-dooooo-this-is) and [ettelwenailinon](http://ettelwenailinon.tumblr.com/post/131568246531/kitten-and-highlander-penny-anna-this-is-all-your)!

The shop had such beautiful fishes. Jamie’d been drifting around looking in all the tanks for half an hour and he’d found his favourite. It was white with golden splotches and a long tail like a train on a wedding dress. He’d idly christened her Lady and sort of wished he could take her home, but he didn’t have any money and he didn’t have the first idea how to look after such a fancy fish, and even if he did, he wasn’t sure he felt right about keeping a fish in a glass box. He didn’t _think_ the TARDIS had a fishpond, but come to think of it he’d never checked.

Zoe came up beside him. “Fish?” she said, sounding dubious.

“Aye,” he said.

“I’ve been looking at the puppies.”

“You can see puppies anywhere.” He nodded at Lady. “I like that one.”

Zoe peered at the fish. “It’s a veiltail,” she announced.

“Oh? How’d you know that?”

“I read a book about goldish once,” she said. “It wasn’t very interesting.”

He considered telling her that he’d named the fish Lady and asking if she knew if the TARDIS had a fishpond, but thought better of it. He was about to ask why she’d bothered reading the fish book if fish bored her when the Doctor popped up at his elbow.

“Fish, eh?” Before either of them could answer, he put a hand on Jamie’s shoulder and said, “I think we’d better make ourselves scarce. We’re getting dirty looks from the staff.”

 _Were_ they? Jamie hadn’t noticed. Perhaps he’d been too engrossed in the fish.

“You mean _you’re_ getting dirty looks,” Zoe corrected.

“Oh, whichever,” said the Doctor. “Come along, you two.” He flapped his hands at them till they moved towards the door. Jamie shot Lady one last, wistful look and let himself be ushered out of the pet shop.

Out on the street, the Doctor turned a neat circle and hurried off downhill. “Time we were leaving, I think.”

“I thought you wanted a new subsidiary coil for the tachyon regulator?” said Zoe, reeling off the Doctor’s babble like she actually understood it.

“I’m sure it can wait,” said the Doctor. “And I’ve just realised – we might be too early to buy one on this planet. We’ll come back in fifty years or so, eh?”

“But you said it was urgent.”

“I was probably being a touch hyperbolic.” The Doctor touched the tips of his fingers together.

It was odd, Jamie thought, for it was a beautiful day and a very nice planet. The sky above the white-paved shopping street was a pretty pink, the trees had lovely glossy leaves, and the locals didn’t give oddly-dressed strangers a second look. A flat robot with long arms trundled past, keeping the street clean; a green bird with fan-shaped wings swooped by overhead; and the Doctor’s pocket was wriggling.

Jamie blinked, startled, and stared at the Doctor’s bulging pocket. Was he imagining things? No; as he watched, the Doctor’s pocket twitched and squirmed. “What’ve you got in your pocket?” he said, interrupting the Doctor’s ramble about how tachyon-whatsits were overrated anyway.

“Hmm? You’ll have to be more specific, Jamie. I have an awful lot of pockets.”

“That pocket.” Jamie pointed.

“ _Which_ pocket?” The Doctor flipped back his lapel and looked inside his coat.

“ _That_ pocket.” Jamie pointed more emphatically. As if in answer, the Doctor’s pocket twitched again.

“Oh, _that_ pocket. Nothing, really. Some string, I think. Now Zoe, the thing about tachyon regulators is –”

“That’s some awfully wriggly string,” Jamie interrupted.

“What are you _talking_ about, Jamie?” snapped Zoe.

The Doctor’s pocket mewled.

Jamie and Zoe stopped dead, forcing the Doctor to do an awkward twirl on the spot to stay between them. “What was _that_?” said Zoe.

“Hm? What was what?”

“Your coat meowed,” said Jamie.

“ _I_ didn’t hear anything.” From the Doctor’s coat came another distinct mew.

“There it goes again!” said Jamie, pointing cheerfully at the Doctor’s pocket.

Zoe was staring at the Doctor, aghast. “You _didn’t_ ,” she said.

“Didn’t what?” The Doctor’s innocent look held strong even through another mewl.

Jamie and Zoe exchanged a glance, and Jamie made a grab for the Doctor’s coat. The Doctor dodged, flapping his coat out of Jamie’s reach – so Jamie grabbed his arms instead and held them pinned so Zoe could reach into his pocket. “Oh dear, oh dear,” said the Doctor.

Zoe rummaged around – and brought out a tiny orange and white kitten. It squirmed in her grip, pawing at her fingers with its tiny feet, twitching its whiskers. Jamie thought his heart might melt.

“You _did_!” Zoe squawked. “You stole a kitten!”

“Actually, ah, I think you’ll find _we_ stole a kitten.” The Doctor beamed and clasped his hands together.

“You’re a thief!” hissed Zoe. “You’re a thief and you’ve made us your – your _accomplices_!” She thrust the kitten at Jamie. Jamie took it gladly.

It was so _little_ , small enough to fit in the palm of his hand, with feet too big for its legs like a frog and a tiny cap of orange fur. As he stared at its tiny kitten face, a wee pink tongue flicked out. He petted it with his thumb, certain he’d made a new friend.

“I couldn’t help myself,” said the Doctor. “The little fellow took such a liking to me – I couldn’t just leave him there, could I?”

“You could have bought it,” said Zoe.

“I’m not sure I have any local currency.” The Doctor patted down his coat.

“What’re we gonnae call it?” said Jamie.

“We’re not going to call it anything,” said Zoe. “We’re going to take it back to the shop and apologise.”

“Och, you don’t want to go back to the shop, do you?” said Jamie to the kitten. “You want to come live with us in the TARDIS.” He stroked the top of the kitten’s head. The Doctor’s smile broadened.

“Stop encouraging him!” snapped Zoe.

“Don’t shout,” said the Doctor. “You’ll scare the kitten.” He took his new friend back from Jamie and petted its ears.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Jamie asked.

“I haven’t checked,” said the Doctor.

“You can’t just go around stealing things,” Zoe wailed. “Doctor!”

“Oh, balderdash,” the Doctor said. “I didn’t steal it. It wanted to come with me. Didn’t you?” he said to the kitten, which yawned. “Besides, Zoe, when you’ve saved quite as many planets as I have, I _do_ think you’re entitled to a free kitten every now and again.”

“Aye, exactly,” said Jamie, pleased with the Doctor’s logic.

“Well, _fine_.” Zoe folded her arms. “But if we get arrested, I _don’t_ know you.”

“Oh, splendid!” The Doctor tucked the kitten, very carefully, into his top pocket and gave it a pat on the head. “I hadn’t thought of a name yet,” he said as he walked on down the street, the kitten riding happily in his coat. “Did you have any ideas, Jamie?”

“Never been any good at namin’ animals,” Jamie confessed. It struck him as too much responsibility. Lord knew how he’d handle naming children.

“Me neither,” said the Doctor. “Hmm.”

Zoe rolled her eyes. “You’re as bad as each other.” The Doctor grinned toothily. “And that wasn’t a compliment.”

“Hush,” said Jamie. “Kitten’s sleeping.” Sure enough, the wee thing had drifted off in the Doctor’s top pocket.

They hushed. “We could call it Zoe,” said the Doctor after a moment’s thought.

“That would just be unnecessarily confusing,” said Zoe.

“I shouldn’t think so,” said the Doctor. “We shall call you something else.”

“Aye,” said Jamie, petting the kitten’s sleepy nose. “We’ll call you Frog.”

Zoe started to speak several times before mustering a response to that. “Why don’t you just call me Zoe and the cat Frog?”

“Oh, aye,” said Jamie. “That’d make more sense.”

“I don’t know,” said the Doctor. “Frog does suit you, rather.”

“Doc _tor_ ,” she whined.

“We’ll call ‘em both Frog,” said Jamie.

“Frog One and Frog Two,” said the Doctor.

Zoe muttered something under her breath – and gave up. “Can I at least be Frog One?” she pleaded.

“You shall be Frog Alpha,” the Doctor said.

“Welllll,” said Zoe. “I suppose that’s alright.”

“Wonderful. That’s agreed.” The Doctor clapped his hands. “Come along Jamie, Frog Alpha. Best get back to the TARDIS before they notice they’re missing a kitten.” He strutted off down the street, pleased as punch, or as some other very pleased thing.

“I don’t look like a frog, do I?” said Zoe, sounding truly distressed.

Jamie made a show of giving her a long, considering look. “Hmm. Let’s see.”

“I _don’t_ look like a frog!” she snapped.

“You’re a very pretty frog,” he said. She thumped his arm. He laughed, and said, “ow.”

“Serves you right.”

“Aye, it did,” he said, still laughing. He jerked his head towards the Doctor. “C’mon. We better keep an eye on him, in case he steals any more animals.”


End file.
